You an’ me both, Pavel

Q: How difficult has it been for you to sit and watch rather than be playing
PAVEL DATSYUK: Oh, I tell you, just this is not fun to watch. I take in lots of beer.
Me too, Pav. And I don’t even have the luxury of imagining how different things would be if only I [...]

Frodo Baggins explains why the Sharks are losing

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,” he used to say. “You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
Yeah … this is an essay about JRR Tolkien, the hero’s journey and how it applies to flameouts in [...]

NHL Poetry: First-round playoff edition

We’re in the playoffs, primed for a cup or a monumental choke job – there’s really not a lot of middle ground for the Wings anymore – and it’s time to make some predictions, through everyone’s favourite forms of lazy-man poetry, the haiku and limerick. When we get to the second round, I promise, I’ll do sonnets.

Mmmmmm … tears

Like so many other Canadians, and citizens in countries around the world, I offer my profound thanks to the American electorate for making the right decision. After the past eight years, a lot of us doubted you could arise from what seemed a collective stupor in time to act to preserve the ideals of the [...]

The October Surprise?

There’s surely going to be a final act in this damned play, so let’s get on with it already.
I understand too much about the nasty rules of life’s overarching narrative to believe that the third presidential debate is over, Barack Obama has a large enough lead to coast home and that Senator John McCain — [...]

Hockey poetry season preview: Southeast division

In our ceaseless quest to forcibly inject literature and poetry into the realm of professional sports, we are returning to the poignant haiku and the always-amusing limerick as a means of eloquently and succinctly previewing the coming season for every NHL team.
After all, if you can’t sum up a team’s potential in 17 syllables or [...]

Barack Obama is finished

You know what? If Barack Obama honestly believes this, then he’s finished. Done. Cooked. Hopeless. Expired.
And in some of his strongest language yet, Obama suggested that, in its new ad, the McCain-Palin ticket was simply trying to “make stuff up.”
“You can’t just recreate yourself,” said the Democratic nominee. “You can’t just reinvent yourself. The American [...]

Lipstick Pitbull, meet Hillary Clinton.

Hey, McCain campaign. You guys wanna talk sexism?
I’m pretty sure that’s a discussion Hillary Clinton is itching to have with you. Her and a few other notable female politicians.
The conventions are over, and now this election is about to get gully. Barack Obama is going to keep himself above the flailing, let loose the Hilldogs [...]

You can’t stop Sarah Palin …

… you can only hope to contain her.
This whole thing has now become a lolection.
I should quit the posts completely and devote my time to captioning pictures of Sarah Palin with “I can has veep nao?” and the like.
I could have spent the entire day at my computer, writing a new post every time I [...]

OMG! Babymama drama!

I love it.
Now that I’ve taken a few deep breaths … now that I am no longer so quick to become scornful and condescending over how ridiculously superficial American politics can be when the Fate Of The Whole Wide World is hanging in the balance … now that I’ve realized that Canadians won’t ever allow [...]