Canadian Olympians: Kicked in the Nuts

It’s not a big deal that Canada doesn’t have single fucking medal at the Beijing Olympics, right?
I mean, our athletes are trying their best, showing good sportsmanship and true Olympic spirit as they lose match after match, finish seventh in race after race and generally dick around to the point where I could name some [...]

Why Thinking People Hate the Bush Administration: Part Eleventy-Billion

You know a smart administration is making the decisions when they “take scientists out of decision making on species status.”
And it’s just awesome that doing so “doesn’t require the approval of congress.”
In totally unexpected reaction to this move, “developers welcomed the plan, while environmentalists derided it.”
No! Really?
Environmentalists derided a plan that would put the decision-making [...]

Signs of the Endtimes: Vol. 1

Look, I need to do something to justify my creeping sense of impending doom, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk around telling everyone the sky is falling like Chicken Little with a goatee and glasses.
So to help relieve the gloom, I figured … fuck it, if the ship really is going down, [...]

The Crazy Primaries: In 10 Minutes

If you missed all the weirdness, or even some of it, MSNBC has put together a wonderful 10-minute recap of the past six months of American politics … it’s really all you need to see to come to the same conclusion as Stan Marsh.
“Dude … this is fucked up right here.”

The Penguins are acting like fans

It’s not easy, sometimes, being a Red Wings fan.
Okay, I’m lying. A lot of the time it’s easy as hell; I get to watch elite players share the puck and play keepaway from lesser teams, the best management and scouting in North American sports continually drafts and develops all-stars, the finest captain in hockey history [...]

Media Fearmongering Frenzy: A How-To Guide

Step 1: Find something that is currently “in” with the 14-40 demographic. It could be a movie, TV show, video game, doll, book or all of the above. The medium doesn’t really matter. Actually, neither does the message but we’ll get to that shortly.
Step 2: Be sure to illustrate how widely popular the target pop [...]

Obama walks the walk

It’s one thing — as any Hillary Clinton or John McCain supporter will loudly tell you — to throw around fancy words and moving rhetoric about ‘change’, ‘hope’ and ‘a new kind of politics’. Any asshole can do it, really, they’ll say. And they’re right.
What takes guts is backing up that talk when it isn’t [...]

Hillary fouls to extend the clock

I’m not going to beat around the bush, pander with platitudes or hand out any participation ribbons today. I’m not in the mood.
I’m too gleeful. Too happy that some Americans are smarter than I give them credit for. Too busy reading the comments posted on http://hillaryis44.org and drinking sweet, sweet tears.

It’s a shame that it’s [...]

Detroit Domination (aka The Post-Series Gloat)

First, I would like to sum up the Colorado Avalanche-Detroit Red Wings series with one picture, before I proceed to waste 1,000 words on it:

Now … to business. Aside from the schadenfreude of watching the Toronto Maple Leafs and their false playoff hopes, I can’t think of the last time I enjoyed a full-on belly [...]

The top ten Roger Clemens-Mindy McCready unreleased country songs

We’re going for a lighter mood these days, like I mentioned last time. So in honour of this sordid affair, we present the top ten country songs Mindy McCready could record about her relationship with “Rocket” Roger Clemens:
10. “I Was Hit By Your Pitch But I Won’t Take My Base”
9. “You Put It Straight Down [...]