I love it.

Now that I’ve taken a few deep breaths … now that I am no longer so quick to become scornful and condescending over how ridiculously superficial American politics can be when the Fate Of The Whole Wide World is hanging in the balance … now that I’ve realized that Canadians won’t ever allow our political discourse to sink to these depths.

Now … I fucking embrace shit like this. Can’t get enough.

The 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is pregnant, Palin said Monday in an announcement intended to knock down rumors by liberal bloggers that Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for her child.

If I highlighted the above paragraph, cut it out, and pasted it back into an All My Children episode summary in Soap Opera Digest … how out of place would it look?

By the way … to make matters just a little bit more fun … This is from a Q&A form filled out by Sarah Palin while she was a Gubernatorial candidate:

3. Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?
SP: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.

Heh. Well, you get what you pay for Sarah. Good luck with all that.

Hopefully, at least if Barack Obama wants to win this election, he’ll tiptoe around this issue and let the 24/7 networks (as well as idiot bloggers from Canada who revel in wallowing in the mud of our neighbours) play around with it.

It accomplishes nothing for him to mention the personal issues of his rival’s running mate. It would give the McCain campaign proof that the Obama campaign isn’t as high-minded as Barack claims. It would also give Sarah Palin a Cheney-esque “Leave my family out of this! They aren’t running for office!” moment that — no matter how silly and contrived … Sarah Palin is running on a family-values-abstinence-works-no-sex-till-marriage platform, remember? — a number of mouthbreathers would absolutely get behind.

So yeah … Obama should leave this alone. But me? I fucking love it. Better than the NFL playoffs; and with fewer illegitimate children!

Speaking of which … you know the only way this could get any better?

Well … if that there baby comes out of the womb blacker than Barack Obama … that would be … just perfect.

*****

UPDATE: Obama does exactly what he should do regarding the Palin family’s dirty little teen sex revelation:

“I have said before and I will repeat again: People’s families are off limits,” Obama said. “And people’s children are especially off-limits. This shouldn’t be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin’s performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. So I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18 and how a family deals with issues and teenage children, that shouldn’t be a topic of our politics.”

— From Politico.

We’re going for a lighter mood these days, like I mentioned last time. So in honour of this sordid affair, we present the top ten country songs Mindy McCready could record about her relationship with “Rocket” Roger Clemens:

10. “I Was Hit By Your Pitch But I Won’t Take My Base”

9. “You Put It Straight Down The Middle and I was Taking All the Way”

8. “If You Misremember Your Age, I’ll Misremember My Wife … Just For Tonight”

7. “Inject Me With Your Love Until My Testicles Recede”

6. “You’ve Already Got Two Balls, Now It’s Time to Swing Away”

5. “I’ll Put The ‘Young’ In All the Cys You’ve Won”

4. “I Was Trying For The Strikeout But You Intentionally Walked Right Into My Heart”

3. “Yours Is the Only Mound I’ll Take On Less Than Five Days Rest”

2. “You’re The Only Minor In My League”

1. “I’m Down 0-2, and That Third Strike Is You

(With help from ManZoneTM. What can I say? We’re in a much lighter mood at work today. Ignoring American politics and a Red Wings victory will do that to you…)