Poetic Playoff Prophecy Vol. II: Round Two, Fight!

Well, the first round somehow went mostly as predicted by my seat-of-the-pants verse. We went 7/8 on overall predictions with the Flyers over the Penguins in seven games being the one we totally whiffed on.

No matter. In my own egotistical little world, I think this gem, made before a single playoff puck had been dropped, more than makes up for that little miscue:

Prediction: Caps in seven (with Varlamov in net before the end of it)

They don’t come more accurate than that, folks.

So, with visions of success — and of the local weatherwoman Chris Pronger banged in Edmonton one day writing a tell-all book —dancing in my head, Dirty Games is proud to present Round Two, in all its poetic glory.

We’re going to stick with haikus and limericks for this one. But seriously, I really will do some sonnets for the next round. And if when the Wings make the final I may delve into the sort of epic poetry that Milton would produce were he a) alive and b) privileged enough to call himself a Red Wings fan.

Without further ado:

Western Conference:

No. 2 Detroit Red Wings vs. No. 8 Anaheim Mighty Ducks

A reputation
Can stick to a man like glue
Watch out for elbows

Once upon a time they were Mighty
Making hits, scoring pretty goals nightly
Then they came to the Joe
Left with tags on their toe
And now these birds aren’t so flighty

Prediction: Wings in six

No. 3 Vancouver Canucks vs. No. 4 Chicago Blackhawks

Age may bring wisdom
It also brings broken hips
Whither Mats Sundin?

A goalie nicknamed Bobby Lou,
Lamented that he could not score, too:
“All my teammates have done,
is put me up by one.
Now it’s my job to somehow see it through.”

Prediction: Canucks in seven.

Eastern Conference:

No. 1 Boston Bruins vs. No. 6 Carolina Hurricanes

Does hard work pay off?
Seven long games, and for what?
Crap, here comes Chara!

At the Garden, their voices all shout:
“Please, Bs, end our long Stanley Cup drought!”
They’ll be halfway there,
After this brief affair,
Quickly blowing the Hurricanes out.

Prediction: Bruins in five

No. 2 Washington Capitals vs. No. 4 Pittsburgh Penguins

Gary Bettman came
Not to watch this, he just came
Right there in his pants
It’s Sid versus Alex for real
And it does have a certain appeal
Will Sidney Crosby pout?
Will Alex knock him out?
It’s a show Malkin’s planning to steal.

Prediction: Penguins in six.


Filed under Blatant Homerism, Hockey!, NHL Playoffs, Red Wings, Sports, Sports and poetry are natural bedfellows, The Franzen

3 responses to “Poetic Playoff Prophecy Vol. II: Round Two, Fight!

  1. Wings_Fan_In_KC

    My Haiku:

    Ducks “Fans” Are Jumping
    On The Band Wagon Once Again
    Sucks Worse Than Pronger


    • i will eat wings tonight

      you know what i like about the ducks against red wings playoff series….the stupid faces of the wings fans after they loose…

  2. Wings_Fan_In_KC

    The only thing that will be “loose” is the Perfect Storm Line of Datsyuk, Hossa and Holmstrom.

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