You know what the media is really good at? Even with one hand tied behind them, they can still use the other to firmly pat themselves on the back.
Thus, we get coverage, on P.3 of Metro Toronto, of Newspaper Day ‘07 — aka An Early Wake for a Dying Medium — of which Metro just happened to be a key sponsor.
Surprisingly, the key person featured in this story is none other than a Metro reporter, thus making this piece an article in Metro about a Metro-sponsored event featuring a fearless Metro reporter who overcame cancer and wrote about it in Metro. Also, David Miller was there too, and Metro is partly owned by Torstar (and so, figuratively at least, is David Miller).
Also, the publisher of Metro was there, too. And he talked about Metro and Metro-related things. Apparently, “this business is about more than just writing.” It’s also about blowing yourself so hard that your immense penis fractures bone and pokes through the back of your skull.
The article also mentions that “five reporters and one photographer from the city’s six daily papers talked about their experiences.” But they don’t work for Metro, so what they said didn’t matter because it wasn’t printed on green paper, with a see-through cover wrap and half-owned by a Swedish conglomerate hell-bent on saturating the daily newspaper market in every large North-American city.
Look, I like to jerk off, too. But I don’t see the need to do it on P.3, in front of all my readers. Guys, the reason only newspaper people were at this event is because only newspaper people care even a tiny iota about the newspaper industry.
By the way, Toronto’s other free daily, 24 Hours, had a speaker at this event, too. So you know what that Sun Media-owned paper did with their P.3 today? Yep. They covered the plight of new immigrants arriving in Canada. You know, theyr wrote all about how hard it is for them to find a job, a home, a community and a free daily newspaper that doesn’t spray its own jism on them every time they open it.
Vs. 
Who’s the paper of the people now, bitches?
